Oh, what I would give to be a care-free kid again. Oh, the things I would do.
I would kick a half-deflated soccer ball around my wide-open backyard, jump on my trampoline, and draw a half dozen pictures of cliche landscapes I’ve always wanted to see. I would visit my neighbors down the street and help them pick on their little brother. I would walk to the ice cream store with my friends and buy a brownie sundae with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.I would play. I would smile. I would laugh.
I don’t do that as much as I used to – playing, smiling, laughing. I don’t know if I enjoy life as much as I used to. And, so far, it is not paying off as much as I thought it would. I’ve been more stressed than I thought I would be, and I am far more sensitive than my mom raised me to be. I guess that comes with losing who you are to all that you are doing.
Don’t get me wrong, I took on my heavy 16-hour, three-job workload willingly, and I don’t pity myself for that. I want to graduate as soon as possible, so I took all the classes possible. I was given the opportunity to teach in Rwanda this summer for three weeks through AfricaReads Inc., and I knew I needed to earn the money to go.
But I didn’t know I wasn’t invincible.
I think God let’s us break down sometimes to remind us that we are human. I think He designed it that way – the whole free will thing. Since the beginning of time, people forgot who they were. People thought they had more power than they really did. Eve wanted to be more like God, Jephthah made a promise that led him to (more than likely) murder his daughter, and the Jews killed the Son of God (who only was raised to life again, jokes on them).
“I am the vine; you are the branches,” Jesus said. “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:15)
Apart from me you can do nothing.
Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing. Separated from God, I can do nothing. Without consulting the Holy Spirit, I can do nothing.
Right now, I feel like I am doing nothing. I feel like I can do nothing but run around in circles chasing my jobs and school work. I am accomplishing nothing.
When Paul was in prison for his preaching the Gospel, he said, “I can do all things through him (Christ) who gives me strength.” Paul used this in the context of living and suffering for the sake of Christ, and I believe the same is true for believers today who are striving to spread the Good News of Christ, the Prince of Peace.
With Jesus, I can do anything. With a relationship with God, I will be called to indescribable things. When consulting the Holy Spirit, I will be guided to amazing things.
Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and everything you need will be given to you. Love God and love others, for these are the greatest commands. Remember your creator in the days of your youth, when you have your whole life to do the crazy things God leads us to. Have peace in Him, for He is our strength. How great the love the Father has lavished on us, that we may be called Children of God.
“For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace,”